He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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