Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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