You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
