You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize