And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
