You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
