I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
