i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
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How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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