Im at strip club and am horny
I love black thongs
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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