Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
