Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
