she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
smell my finger.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
