I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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