I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
