You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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