Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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