I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
