I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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