Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
