Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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