Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize