you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
