Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's rum buckets o'clock
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
