he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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