the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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