you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
