I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
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I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also, beer. Big fan.
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We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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