I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
