Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
