It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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