is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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