im about as happy as oj after his trial
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
