WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
