sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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