I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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