You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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