If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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