They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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