What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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