Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
