Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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