The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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