Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize