North Korea, Best Korea!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
