i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
