just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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