Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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