Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
