Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
