I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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