didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
