I just made out with a guy for $7.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sorry about my life...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
