I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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