Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.

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  (270): I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song. http://tfl.nu/5506
  Replies (14) Good night (3097) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  It was the best sex i've ever had.

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  (540): That was the scariest sex i've ever heard.... (1-540): It was the best sex i've ever had. http://tfl.nu/k8p9
  Replies (13) Good night (7619) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.

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  (919): I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes. http://tfl.nu/2m3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4164) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE

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  (480): I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE http://tfl.nu/wmq4
  Replies (5) Good night (2235) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.

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  (248): he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg. http://tfl.nu/hgt4
  Replies (24) Good night (1135) Bad night (4837) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...

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  (201): So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone... http://tfl.nu/fbxy
  Replies (8) Good night (715) Bad night (2260) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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  (740): This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod. http://tfl.nu/pyaj
  Replies (9) Good night (1751) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.

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  (914): He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared. http://tfl.nu/k0z7
  Replies (11) Good night (1884) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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  (713): Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away. http://tfl.nu/vae8
  Replies (5) Good night (1586) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.

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  (631): I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation. http://tfl.nu/bilr
  Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .

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  (215): So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand . http://tfl.nu/gg9e
  Replies (22) Good night (949) Bad night (2637)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.

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  (715): On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good. http://tfl.nu/74vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1182) Bad night (294) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.

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  (614): They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart. http://tfl.nu/irli
  Replies (7) Good night (576) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.

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  (775): Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program. http://tfl.nu/5e2w
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"

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  (817): Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn" http://tfl.nu/96q8
  Replies (3) Good night (522) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt

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