You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
