I didn't shave. On purpose
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
