wanna go halves on a baby?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
