awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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