How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
