All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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