smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
