i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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