I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
